Transfer Day

I woke up this morning to a phone call from a friend of mine. She said..."remember this day. It is an awesome day that will change you forever. Get ready today is the beginning of a new chapter for you and Brian." Her words stayed with me all day. I kept thinking,'I am going to the doctor to hopefully become pregnant. 'My life is no longer about me, starting today I am not only responsible for myself. I have to be sure to protect this child that they are going to be putting inside of me.' It is a very weird feeling to know the exact moment that your life is going to change for ever. No matter what the out come is, my life will be changed forever... My sister always wonders what is going through the head of a bride the night before her wedding...let me tell you Liz, that was nothing compared to this! Brian and I got to the doctors office this afternoon and they led us back to the room that I have been waiting to go to...the 'Transfer Room.' Walking in I felt proud, proud that we have finally made it to this point. There was another couple in the 'Meeting Room' and I couldn't help but think back to our first meeting at this clinic, how I never thought we would make it across the hall into the 'Transfer Room' I wanted to interrupt their meeting and tell them that one day the too will be walking into this room, feeling as proud as I do. That it is a long journey but a journey worth taking. The Linda form the lab came in and handed us our 'embryo report card' that would tell us if we could indeed go through with the transfer, exactly how many made it though the night and the grade of the embryo. 'A' being the best. She asked that I put my gown on and that she would be back in a few min to go over the results. I held on to our 'report card' for a few seconds scared to look at it. Not quite ready to know our fate. Brian grabbed it out of my hands and opened it up. It said... Number of oocytes retrieved 7, number of oocytes ICSI'd 6, number of oocytes fertilized 1, number of normal embryos 1, embryo grade c, number for cells 4, Number of embryos to transfer 1. When Brian read this to me, my heart sank. Not because we would only be implanting one embryo, but now if we wanted more than one child we will have to go through all of the medication again. There was not any to freeze for further use. Linda came back in with Dr. Corfman and they went over the 'report card' He said that the number of cells was at four and that is wonderful and that just because the grade is C doesn’t mean that there is anything genetically wrong. There are plenty of babies on the board that are lower than a C. (they have a board with baby pictures on it) Dr. Corfman went over how he was going to perform the transfer. He said that he was going to put a catheter up my vagina into my uterus. Than with a needle put the embryo up into the uterus with some liquid. The actual transfer took no longer than 5 min. The only thing that I could feel was a warm sensation when he was actually putting the embryo in. It was amazing! Dr. Corfman said that the embryo would not actually attach to the wall for 2 to 3 days. Than we would have to wait a few weeks and come back in to see what the results where. Its very hard to think that the retrieval took only 7 min and the transfer only took about 5 min but it took us 2 years to finally get to this point! After the doctors left Brian looked at me and asked how I was feeling... I told him that I was sacred. That this is the first time in my life that I have ever been this scared. There is nothing that we can do, it is in someone elses hands now. He looked at me with the most nervous look in his eyes, he didn't have to say anything I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. We sat in silentes for the next few min. Letting everything soak in, reminiscing on the past few years. Both Brian and I are thrilled that we have made it this far. We both can finely breath again. We are hoping and praying that everything will be ok, and in 9 months we will have a beautiful child that we too can add to the wall. We know that this is not a guarantee and are extremely scared, but know that if we have made it this far there is nothing that can come in between us and our dream of one day becoming parents! This will go down in our top 5 most memorable days!