Just what we needed

Brian and I decided that this weekend we where going to put life aside and do something fun with each other. So we packed up the dogs and headed up north the to cabin. It was so relaxing just what we needed. I was able to do some reading, relaxing, get a little sun and take some great pictures of the wild life and scenery. Brian built some steps for the new trailer that we just put on the land, and put in a large window in the living room. He always amazes me how he can do anything. At night we hung out around the campfire, chatted and laughed a lot! We had such a great time with each other. This was something that we both needed, a long over due weekend away.

Infertility Myths & Facts

Myth: "Infertility is a woman's problem " Fact: Not true. In fact, infertility is just as likely to be caused by a male factor as a female factor. Male factor accounts for 40% of infertility, female factor accounts for 40%, combined female and male problems account for 10% and the remaining 10% are of unexplained causes. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up. Myth: "Everyone else seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat!" Fact: It is estimated that 1 in 6 people experience infertility at some point in their lives. According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) approximately 4.5 million couples experience infertility each year. Less than 2 million of the infertile couples actually seek help from the medical community. Infertility is a common health problem in men and women. Fortunately, 90% of all cases have a specific cause for the infertility that can be uncovered with proper diagnosis by physicians who specialize in reproductive medicine. Myth: "It's all in your head - if you relax and stop thinking about it you will get pregnant!" Fact: Infertility causes stress - stress doesn't cause infertility. Infertility is a medical condition; a disorder to the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you cope and with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Myth: "If you adopt a baby you will get pregnant!" Fact: Almost every infertile couple has probably heard the story from a relative or friend about someone who became pregnant right after they adopted. However, studies prove that the pregnancy rate after adopting is the same for those who do not adopt (5% each) - it's just the ones who adopt and then achieve pregnancy are the ones you hear about more often. Myth: "Maybe you two are doing something wrong!" Fact: Infertility is not a sexual disorder, it's a medical condition. Myth: "If you have sex every day it will increase your chances of getting pregnant" Fact: Because normal, healthy sperm remain active in the woman's reproductive system from 48-72 hours, having intercourse at 36-48 hour intervals around the time of ovulation is usually adequate. In fact, if the man has a low sperm count that replenishes slowly, having sex every day may be counterproductive. Myth: "For some couples, getting pregnant just takes time. Fact: Couples should seek consultation after 12 months of unprotected intercourse if they have not achieved pregnancy. For couples over 35 years of age, it should be after six months. Myth: "Infertility only happens to couples who have never had a child before." Fact: Unfortunately for many couples who have a child and wish to conceive again, a variety of factors can contribute to what is known as "secondary infertility." A number of problems could have occurred since the last conception. Myth: "Maybe this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!" Fact: This is a very painful thing for any infertile couple to hear and can be very discouraging. You need to keep reminding yourself, and others that infertility is a medical condition, not God's will. Myth: "My spouse might leave me if we can't conceive a child" Fact: While infertility can take a toll on any marriage, the majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis with their marriage still intact. Most couples find the process of learning new ways of relating to each other, the experience brings them closer together.

One Tough Week

As you all know Monday morning I woke up with a terrible head cold, little did I know this was just the start to a terrible week... Monday: Woke up with a terrible head cold and migraine. Stayed home from work convincing my self that it was worth all the pain if there was a child developing inside me. Tuesday: I woke up still feeling crummy but thought if I went to work it would take my mind off my cold. It worked! I was feeling better around lunch time. Yahoo!!! Brian and I decided to go out for dinner, while we where at dinner I started having some cramping. I kind of brushed it off thinking/hoping that it had something to do with my cold. We later went home and went on with our nightly routine. We went to bed around 10:00 and about 2:00am I woke up to really bad cramps. I went to the bathroom and there wasn't any blood so I again tried to think nothing of it, but in the back of my mind I started to freak out. Not being able to take anything for the pain I jumped into the bath tub. That helped with the cramping for a bit. I got out of the tub and grabbed the heat pad hoping if I could fall asleep I would wake up and everything would be better. As I was plugging in the heat pad I accidentally unplugged my alarm clock. I had a complete melt down. I was on the floor balling, knowing in the back of my head it was over. Brain did his best to console me but at that point I was to far gone. I was completely freaking out, I couldn't control myself I was not ready for this to be over. Especially since our appointment to find out if we where pregnant was on Friday. I finally fell back asleep around 4:00am. Wednesday: I woke up Wednesday morning angry, sad, confused. I went to the bathroom and my worst fear was staring me in the face. There was blood. I don't really remember getting ready for work that morning. I just remember wanting to get to work so I could call my doctor (they don't open until 8:00) I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to go to work but I was there. Brian called me on the way into work and I lost it. It was heart breaking for me to have to tell Brian that I was still cramping and now there was blood. Finally eight o'clock came. I called my doctor and the second I heard my nurses voice I started to cry. I said "LouAnn, bad news, I think I got my period." She asked me lots of questions and told me that 50% of her patients do bleed so that’s ok but it is the cramping that is concerning to her. She told me not to give up yet that she still wanted me to go to the doctor on Friday and take my Beta test. I walked out of the office I was in and tried to control myself long enough to collect my things and get out of the door with out any kids seeing me. I told my co-worker that I had to leave and I would call later. I immediately called Brian and told him what the nurse said. This is the moment that we both started preparing for the worst. I called my mom at work she answered the phone I tried to get the words out so she would know it was me but all that came out was a squeak followed by sobs. She knew immediately what had happened. She tried to convince me that there still was hope. The rest of the day was a blur. Thursday: I really can't tell you what happened on Thursday. All I remember was talking to my nurse every hour and that there wasn't any cramping, still blood but no cramping. I though maybe there was still hope. A little bit of light was still shining for me, not much, but it was there. Friday: I went to the doctor at 7:30am to get my blood taken. We arranged it so the nurse was going to leave a me a message on my voice mail with the results so I could check it when I was ready. I got home from work around 4:00 and Brian and I put the phone on speaker and listened to our message. Both shaking with fear, knowing the answer but still hoping for something else. The nurse confirmed it. I was not pregnant. My Beta level was only a one. Not good. She said that I could go back in on Monday to have them tested again but the likely hood of them rising where very slim. I declined that visit. Brian I and I just held each other for what seemed to be all night.It was hard to compreheand that just like that all of our hard work for the past 2 1/2 years was gone, and we are back to square one. We started calling our parents to let them know that it didn't work. That was tough. We wanted everyone to know but we didn't want them to feel bad for us. It was a rough night. We are going into talk with our doctor to find out what’s next sometime next week. Although our invetro didn't result in a pregnancey we are very greatful that we tried. At this point we are unsure of what we are going to do next, another round of invetro, adoption, waiting? Who knows! Brian and I are both very sad, but we are going to be ok. Everyday is better than the last. We appreciate all the kind words people have said to us. We really want everyone to know that although we are sad and disappointed we are not giving up. We know that we will be parents soon.

Head cold

Ugg, Sunday was a tough night. Over the weekend I developed a head cold, and Sunday night brought a major head ache! I have never had such a head ache in my life, I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I was to afraid to take anything even though my doctor said Tylenol and Sudafed would be ok. It was tough being in so much pain and knowing that just a few steps away there would be instant relief. I just kept thinking that the head ache was worth it if there is a child developing inside of me. I know that if I did take medicine and something went wrong and I wasn't pregnant I would directly relate it to taking the medicine. Even though that most likely would not be the reason. I made it though the night! I woke up with a little bit of a head ache, but I was able to sleep it off and it was all gone by lunch time! Hooray! I like to think that I got this head cold because my body is working so hard in other areas that my immune system is not working at its fullest! I am sure that’s not the case but it sure does make me feel better!

I am petrified!

Today, I made my doctors appointment to see if the invertro worked. It was so weird. I called my doctor and she asked how I was doing like always and something took over me, I wanted to say good, as people always respond but instead I said scared! It was crazy! I guess my inner feelings are coming through! Its so weird how something you have wanted forever can all of a sudden scare the crap out of you! She asked what time I wanted to make the appointment for and I couldn't make up my mind! I kept thinking should I find out in the morning or in the afternoon or later that night! She than informed me that it is a blood test and I would be getting a message on my voice mail around 3:00pm. So that took the load off! I could find out when I was ready. I thought that I would be so excited to find out but now it just petrifies me! Not the thought of actually being pregnant but the thought that if it doesn't work I will know. I like the thought that at this very moment I could be pregnant. I want to keep that feeling for as long as I can. Its kind of like Christmas when you where a teenager you couldn't wait to open gifts but you also wanted to wait because you knew that you may not get what you really wanted. It is a very weird feeling, its going to be a long wait!

Transfer Day

I woke up this morning to a phone call from a friend of mine. She said..."remember this day. It is an awesome day that will change you forever. Get ready today is the beginning of a new chapter for you and Brian." Her words stayed with me all day. I kept thinking,'I am going to the doctor to hopefully become pregnant. 'My life is no longer about me, starting today I am not only responsible for myself. I have to be sure to protect this child that they are going to be putting inside of me.' It is a very weird feeling to know the exact moment that your life is going to change for ever. No matter what the out come is, my life will be changed forever... My sister always wonders what is going through the head of a bride the night before her wedding...let me tell you Liz, that was nothing compared to this! Brian and I got to the doctors office this afternoon and they led us back to the room that I have been waiting to go to...the 'Transfer Room.' Walking in I felt proud, proud that we have finally made it to this point. There was another couple in the 'Meeting Room' and I couldn't help but think back to our first meeting at this clinic, how I never thought we would make it across the hall into the 'Transfer Room' I wanted to interrupt their meeting and tell them that one day the too will be walking into this room, feeling as proud as I do. That it is a long journey but a journey worth taking. The Linda form the lab came in and handed us our 'embryo report card' that would tell us if we could indeed go through with the transfer, exactly how many made it though the night and the grade of the embryo. 'A' being the best. She asked that I put my gown on and that she would be back in a few min to go over the results. I held on to our 'report card' for a few seconds scared to look at it. Not quite ready to know our fate. Brian grabbed it out of my hands and opened it up. It said... Number of oocytes retrieved 7, number of oocytes ICSI'd 6, number of oocytes fertilized 1, number of normal embryos 1, embryo grade c, number for cells 4, Number of embryos to transfer 1. When Brian read this to me, my heart sank. Not because we would only be implanting one embryo, but now if we wanted more than one child we will have to go through all of the medication again. There was not any to freeze for further use. Linda came back in with Dr. Corfman and they went over the 'report card' He said that the number of cells was at four and that is wonderful and that just because the grade is C doesn’t mean that there is anything genetically wrong. There are plenty of babies on the board that are lower than a C. (they have a board with baby pictures on it) Dr. Corfman went over how he was going to perform the transfer. He said that he was going to put a catheter up my vagina into my uterus. Than with a needle put the embryo up into the uterus with some liquid. The actual transfer took no longer than 5 min. The only thing that I could feel was a warm sensation when he was actually putting the embryo in. It was amazing! Dr. Corfman said that the embryo would not actually attach to the wall for 2 to 3 days. Than we would have to wait a few weeks and come back in to see what the results where. Its very hard to think that the retrieval took only 7 min and the transfer only took about 5 min but it took us 2 years to finally get to this point! After the doctors left Brian looked at me and asked how I was feeling... I told him that I was sacred. That this is the first time in my life that I have ever been this scared. There is nothing that we can do, it is in someone elses hands now. He looked at me with the most nervous look in his eyes, he didn't have to say anything I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. We sat in silentes for the next few min. Letting everything soak in, reminiscing on the past few years. Both Brian and I are thrilled that we have made it this far. We both can finely breath again. We are hoping and praying that everything will be ok, and in 9 months we will have a beautiful child that we too can add to the wall. We know that this is not a guarantee and are extremely scared, but know that if we have made it this far there is nothing that can come in between us and our dream of one day becoming parents! This will go down in our top 5 most memorable days!

Retrieval

Here is a picture of the actual retrevial. The long thing sticking into the Follical is the needle that they used to retreave teh eggs. Click on the picture to enlagre it.

Egg Break Down

Here are some pictures from the lab, A day to day break down on what the eggs will look like. Click on the picture to enlarge it.

Retrieval Day

Today I checked into Dr. Corfman's office at 8:15am for the retrieval of my eggs. I hadn't been nervous for this procedure until I checked in, but the nurses are amazing and put me at ease in no time! They got me all prepped with an IV (it took a few tries to find a vein that wasn't kinked) Sandy (my nurse) walked us through the procedure telling Brian and I exactly what was going to happen. She said that I wouldn't really remember anything since I would be getting medication through an IV, they called it their La La land med! It stood true to its name! :) Around 9:00 I went in to the surgery room. Brian was not able to come in the room with me but was able to watch it on a T.V. in my recovery room. Dr. Corfman came in the room and he had to sign something, he said..."wow, I can sign things and get it on the line better than when I have my glasses on"... I told him that, that was really reassuring! It was a nice ice breaker to the tension! They took an ultrasound probe and inserted it so they could see all the follicles. Then they took a needle and extracted the eggs from the follicles. Brian said that the second that the needle went into the follicle that it would disappear off the screen. The eggs immediately went to the lab where they where washed and examined. It took longer to get me prepped than the actual procedure. Dr. Corfman was able to find and retrieve 7 good eggs. Hooray! This afternoon they will be implanting the sperm into the eggs than watching it over night to see which one's are the strongest. On Friday they will be re implanting two. They call it our transfer day. I will find out on Thursday what time that will be. As we where walking out I said to Brian..."think about, those are our children... I am doing good. I am a little tired from the meds(so if this doesn't make since that's why!) I am extremely sore. It's a good reason to stay in bed all day and watch t.v.! Brian has been great. I wonder how our kids are doing!

When We Will Know?

I know you are all wondering when I will be able to take a pregnancy test. With all the medications that I have had in me for the past month I have to wait a while to take a test other wise it would come up positive, if I am pregnant or not. I am not going to tell the dates of my tests or the results of the tests. I feel that we have shared so much with you already that you know when the baby was conceived, and all the details in between that we would like to keep this a secrete, something that just the two of us know for a while. Yes, Jeni and Liz this also applies to you!! :) Don't worry we will be telling people as soon as we feel comfortable that everything is going to be OK, if we succeed in a pregnancy or if we don't. I would appreciate it if you could respect this decision that we have made. If this does work we will have to prepare our selves since this is what we have been working towards since the beginning of our marriage and I am sure we may go through a weird time of now what! If this doesn't work we need to have the time to prepare are selves and find a way to cope as well and figure out what's the next step that we are going to take before we share with anyone. So keep praying as we move forward with high hopes!

Doctors Orders

I got the call from my doctor today after my appointment he said that everything looks really good. Since my follicles (eggs) are growing faster than they expected, they have moved our retrieval date up to Wednesday May 29th and our re-implantation date will be Friday June 1st! Yahoo! High Five!! With that he gave me strict instructions, here they are... Sunday, May 27th 7:00pm 150 units of Menopour---Hooray my last dose, this was the worst med. The needle is really thick so you really have to jab it to get it though the skin. Monday, May 28th 7:00am 10 units of Lupron 9:30pm HCG shot. It is very important that I take it at 9:30pm no sooner no later. It has to be exactly 36 hours prior to the retrieval. Tuesday, May 29th Continue prenatal vitamins Brian stop Doxycycline Drink 16 oz of water 3 hours prior to retrieval...that's 6:30am Eat 6-8 hours prior to retrieval 7:00am Doxycycline 7:00pm Doxycycline Wednesday, May 30th ---our day! Drink 16oz of a clear decaffeinated beverage 3 hours prior to retrieval...that's 6:30am. Eat 6-8 hours prior to retrieval...that's between 11:30am and 1:30am. Bring someone along, I will not be able to drive. Arrive at the Midwest Center of Reproductive Health at 8:15am (retrieval is at 8:30am) Take 600 millagrams of Advil 1/2 an hour prior to appointment. Take a dose of doxycycline when I get home. Sleep off medication! Take another dose of Doxycycline 12 hours after first dose. Thursday, May31st 7:00am Dose of Doxycycline Check voice mail at 3:00 to find out time of transfer time (re-implantation) 7:00pm Dose of Doxycycline Friday, June 1st....The big day! 7:00am Doxycycline 600 millagrams of Advil 1?2 hour prior to appointment ?:?? Transfer Light to no activity 7:00pm Doxycycline 7:00pm Progesterone Saturday, June 2nd 7:00am doxycycline 7:00am Progesterone 7:00pm Doxycycline 7:00pm Progesterone Light Activity I will have to continue to take the Progersterone two times a day up until the 2nd pregnancy test or through 12 weeks if I get pregnant. This is a little scary. If you are a prayer please send one up for Brian and I.

Three down one to go!!

This morning I had another ovarian ultrasound to see how my follicles (eggs) are growing. Brian came with me this time. Being that it is a Sunday morning they didn't have their full staff so Brian was more than just a supportive husband, he was in charge of writing down all the measurements. (even though he didn't say anything I know that he enjoyed feeling helpful in such a help less situation.) They say that a mature follicle is anything bigger than 15mm. The largest one that I have is 19.5mm. Yahoo! They are ranging anywhere from 19.5 to 10.5. They say I have 16 that are just about to reach maturity. So we are looking good for our retrieval! My Large follicles are starting to cause me some discomfort. It sort of feels like right before you are going to get your period and your ovaries are sore. I can feel them in every step that I take when I bend over, sit, well pretty much all the time. Sometimes when I sneeze it feels like they are going to blow right out of me! Although it is painful it is nothing that I can't handle, its a small price for such a huge pay off!

No More Hanky Panky!! Oh yeah I said it!

I received the call today from my doctor. He told me that starting today I was to start taking my next dose of medication. The Gonal F pen. He said that our estimated retrieval date is going to be either May 31, June 1 or June 2nd! Next week! There is to be no intercourse until after we find out if this resulted in a baby and after we hear the heart beat! This is crazy, I can now count it the days on my fingers! Finally a real date!

Two down two to go!

Today I had another ultrasound and estridle. As I was laying there watching my ovaries on the computer screen repeating in my head...please nothing over 10 mm...please nothing over 10 mm... (remember the last ultrasound they said that if there was anything over 10 mm that we would have to wait until next month) The ultrasound tech starts telling me how big the follicles are... 7.5. , 7.7, 10.5 (oh no) 11.6, (uhhh) 12.9, (Shit, no more please) 10,7... and that's when I 'lost' it... I started saying no, no , no that's not good, and the Ultrasound tech looks at me and smiles and says, "why is that bad?" I told her that last time they said that if they where over 10mm it wouldn't work. She kind of chuckled and said, "well, Jill that was last time. We want them to grow. They usually want them to be about 15-18mm. Uhhhhh let the grow!!! (that's how fast things change with inverto!) It was as if a 100 pound weight was just lifted off my shoulders. I had already with in the 30 seconds that I though it was over, had convinced myself that it would be ok, found a good way to break the news to Brian and tried to figure out what I did wrong!! But luckily we don't have to worry about that!! She said that my follicles where growing at a normal speed and to expect a call from my doctor to get my med dose for the next 5 days! Hooray!!! Hi Five!!!

Blood Wars!!!

We received a call from our doctor today and he said that we are at risk because my blood is a negative Rh factor and Brian is a positive Rh factor. This combination can produce a child who is Rh positive. While the mother's and baby's blood systems are separate there are times when the blood from the baby can enter into the mother's system. This can cause the mother to create antibodies against the Rh factor, thus treating an Rh positive baby like an intruder in her body. If this happens the mother is said to be sensitized. A sensitized mother's body will make antibodies. These antibodies will then attack an Rh positive baby's blood, causing it to breaking down the red blood cells of the baby and anemia will develop. In severe cases this hemolytic disease can cause illness, brain damage and even death. Sensitization can also occur during a blood transfusion, miscarriage, abortion, ectopic pregnancy and even during some procedures, like amniocentesis. Since the antibodies do not disappear and rarely cause a problem in first pregnancies, it is very important to be screened thoroughly and give an accurate medical history to your doctor or midwife. The Good News Hemolytic disease can be prevented for many women, if they are not already sensitized. Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) is a blood product given via injection to help the Rh negative mother by suppressing her ability to react to the Rh positive red cells. Reactions to the medication are generally minor, including soreness at the injection sight and sometimes a slight fever. Since a small number of unsensitized women may have problems with the end of pregnancy, many practitioners recommend that she be given an injection of RhIg (also known as Rhogam) at 28 weeks gestation, to prevent the few cases of sensitization that occur at the end of pregnancy. Each dose of RhIg lasts about 12 weeks. The mother will also be given RhIg within 72 hours of birth if the child is Rh positive. The baby's blood type can be determined easily after birth by cord blood samples. A little scare but nothing to worry about!

Ovarian Ultrasounds

Today (May 17th) I went to a doctors appointment to get an ultrasound done on my ovaries. They where checking to make sure that there wasn't any follicles larger than 10 millimeters in diameter. If they found any that large we would have to wait until next month to go through with our Invetro session. Luckily they didn't find anything that large!!! It is still a go! We still don't have any idea on the exact date. But that is the one unknowing that we can live with. We know it will be soon! I will have to go in for 3 or 4 more Ovarian ultrasounds to make sure the follicles haven't grown and that everything is still looking good! We can finally see a light!

Talking About It

Some people have known about this since the moment that it begun and some of you may just be finding out about it for the first time. I have been asked by people why they didn't know, why we didn't tell anyone. Its not that we where keeping it a secret by any means because it is nothing that we are ashamed about. Its just not an easy thing to bring up. It doesn't really come up in a conversation, and when it does, most people get really uncomfortable. Up until a few months ago we didn't really have any answers. When people asked us questions, they want to know answers and well, we really didn't have any for them so we just kind of kept it to ourselves and if people found out that was fine. I really enjoy talking about it. For me talking about it is therapeutic. I remember my mom saying how weird it is that she has never met anyone who has gone through with invetro fertilization. I told her that if she really talked to people, she would be amazed on how many people actually have had some sort of infertility issue. It is kind of one of those subjects that nobody really talks about. 1 out of 3 couples have infertility problems. Like I said, I love talking about it. I feel that it is my responsibility to educate people that don't understand and let people know that they are not alone. I wish that there were someone that I could have talked to that knew what I was feeling. I have since talked with 3 people that have contacted me through other friends and co-workers that are just in the first stages of this and just needed to make sure that they weren't going crazy! That has been very rewarding for me. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I will be posting questions and answers on this blog.

Thank yous

Brian and I wanted to thank everyone for being so supportive during our quest. I have a few special thank yous that I wouldn't feel right if they didn't know how truly special they are to us. Mom and Dad- Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being such wonderful parents. You have taught me how to be strong when needed and how to accept the things that I can not control. I don't think that I would have been able to get through this if it weren't for you and the great qualities that you have instilled in me. You are always there to help us out with the tough decisions that we have been faced with. Thank you! We love you. Jeni- You have been an amazing friend. You have been there for me when I needed to cry, vent, laugh and scream. Your medical background has helped me when the doctor lingo has been a bit overwhelming. You always know exactly what to say to help me even if sometimes it is a quiet silence. I love you dearly and can't express how much you mean to me. I don't think I could ever repay you for being the rock and support that I have needed through this process. I hope that someday I will be as wonderful of a mother as you have become! I love you. Dave- Thank you for being there for Brian. I know that he truly looks up to you and is very honored to be your son. You have been a great support for him. Your weekends up at the cabin have been exactly what he has needed. It has been a great escape from our uncertain world. Thank you for being such an understanding father and friend to him. Liz- You are an amazing sister. I am indebted you. You have been a great support for both Brian and I. You have always been there when either one of us has needed you. You will make a great auntie someday! We love you!

Rosie

In late March I over heard a parent talking about a 60 year old woman who is walking around the world to raise money for prostate cancer and Russian Orphans. She started in Whales over 3 years ago, and arrived in the US just in time for those terrible snow storms that we got this year. I was really taken by this woman's dedication. This mother talked about how Rosie was in St. Cloud the day before and heading down HWY 10 towards Big Lake. So I thought I would keep an eye out for her and maybe stop and tell her how amazing I thought she was. Little did I know what an impact she would have on me. Driving home that night I came across her sitting on the side of the road taking a break. I thought this was a good time to say hi and see if there was anything that she needed. I stopped and talked with her for just a few minutes. I left there feeling like I too could concur the world! I thought if she could walk around the world all by herself pulling a cart with all her belongings in it, fight off wild animals, learn things from convicts on the run, survive 30 days without seeing anyone in Siberia, broken ribs AND frost bitten toes, and still continue to be such a happy person with the most trusting and loving heart. Then I could make it through this. Yes it sucks and sometimes you want to give up but your love and faith will see you through. A few days later I again saw Rosie on the side of the road. It was a weird day in March, it was extremely hot! I stopped again and chatted with her, we got to talking and I ended up inviting her over to our place for dinner. (Ironically she was going to Elk River to catch a bus to bring her back to St. Could so she could catch a ride to the Dentist in Park Rapids with another lady that she had met on her journey!) Anyway, she came over to our place for dinner, we chatted with the neighbors and then I drove her up to St. Cloud. She asked if she could leave her cart with all her belongings in our garage. We were more than happy to let her leave it at our home. Rosie has a "pet" name for her cart of belongings, ironically, it is one of the only names Brian and I have agreed on for our children. SIGN #1! A week later she called to see if I could pick her up from St. Cloud so she could continue her journey around the world. She was more then happy to have me pick her up. On our way home we were talking about her life and it turns out that she has 2 adopted children from Russia. Of course I had a lot of questions about that. Rosie was able to give me some contact information from the orphanage that she is actively involved with and we actually called and talked to someone from the orphanage that day! SIGN #2! It was amazing how this woman fell into my life so unexpectedly and disappeared just as mysteriously as she came in. I like to think of her as my angel that was sent to me when I needed some extra reassurance. Thank you Rosie! www.rosiearoundtheworld.co.uk

Medications

Here is a list of all of the medications that I have to take during the month of May. Most of these meds are injections and need to be taken twice a day, 7am and 7pm. Most of the side effects are mood changes, hot flashes, bone aches, and nausea, just to name a few. I keep reminding myself that its good that I feel these side effects that means that the medications are working, and we are one step closer to starting our family! Yasmin Birth Control-- Getting my period on track. Northindrone --Norethindrone is also used as a test to see if the body is producing certain female hormones (natural substances that affect the uterus). Norethindrone is in a class of medications called progesterone's. It works by stopping the lining of the uterus from growing and by causing the uterus to produce certain hormones. Lupron---Leuprolide is in a class of drugs known as gonadotropin-releasing (GnRH or LH-RH) hormone agonists. It decreases the production of testosterone (male hormone) in men and estrogen (female hormone) in women. Gonal-f---The Gonal–f® RFF Pen is indicated (used) for the induction of ovulation and pregnancy in oligo–anovulatory infertile patients for whom the cause of infertility is functional and not due to primary ovarian failure. The Gonal–f® RFF Pen is also indicated for the development of multiple follicles in the ovulatory patient participating in an Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART) program. Menopur---Menopur is a gonadotropin that contains a combination of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH) that stimulates the ovaries to produce eggs. Ovidrel---Ovidrel® PreFilled Syringe is used in fertility treatment cycles to help follicles mature and to trigger the release of mature eggs from a woman's ovaries following treatment with products containing human follicle stimulating hormone PrimaCare---Prenatal Vitamin Doxycline---Doxycycline is in a class of medications called tetracycline antibiotics. It works by preventing the growth and spread of bacteria. Vaginal Progesterone suppositories---PROGESTERONE treats a corpus luteum (these form in the ovary to secrete hormones) deficiency. Progesterone is a female hormone that is produced naturally in the body. Progesterone is essential to the normal functioning of the womb and reproductive system. Metformin---Control blood sugars