Random Thoughts

Infertility is a very very stressful thing to have to go through. It makes you question so many things. I can't tell you how many times we have sat and thought, "what did we do to deserve this?" "What could we have done differently in our past to make sure this didn't happen" One of the many difficult things is when friends or family are expecting and they feel like they can't tell us. That we will be angry. That has never been the case. A little jealous yes but never angry. We know that we will be parents someday, we just have to figure out the path that will fit us best! I have learned that you should never ask someone when they are planning on having kids, unless you are ready to listen to what they have to say. I was reading through an old diary that I had when I was in middle school that I would like to share with you... its kind of spooky! January 12, 1995 ...I was talking with some friends today about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Jamie said that she wanted to be a teacher, Jeni said that she wanted to be a professional soccer player. I told them that I wanted to be a mother. I just know that is my calling. I can feel it in my soul, that this is what I am supposed to be. I didn't tell my friends that or this but I have a weird feeling that I will adopt children from Russia or somewhere like that. I realize that other children need a loving home and I think that I will be able to provide that for them....